My middle school years were awkward to say the least. I was now in a public school, away from my sheltered Catholic school and the friends I had known since 2nd grade. I wasn't very pretty in the eyes of the other children my age and I was constantly tired and would daydream during classes. My grades were average, I never excelled in math or science. I always enjoyed english and being able to write my feelings down since no one seemed to want to or care to listen to what I had to say. It was my outlet.
I had a few good girlfriends in 6th and 7th grade, never a boyfriend. I liked boys from afar. They didn't give me the time of day so I never bothered to talk to them. It wasn't until the end of 7th grade/begining of 8th grade that I actually befriended a boy in my grade, Sam. He was funny, sweet, cute and most of all, I thought he liked me too! We both shared the same love for Nirvana and Kurt Cobain (hey, it was 1994!). I don't think I voiced my feelings for him until 8th grade. We would talk on the phone at night and write "notes" back and forth during school hours. 8th grade came and went. I have to say it was my favorite year in middle schhol. Perhaps I was finally becoming more social and somewhat confident or it was because I was finally learning what my first feelings of love could be. I was shocked and upset to find out that my crush, Sam was not planning to go to our local high school but rather a high school in Milwaukee. Sam and I became quite close the summer before our freshman year of high school and he promised me that our relationship would not change. He truely was my first love. The summer ended and so did my first relationship. I was devestated. He told me he loved me and then he hurt me. The attention Sam gave me made up for the attention and love I always had longed from my father. I enrolled and became a freshman in high school in September of 1994, with a broken heart.
I was excited to go to high school finally and get away from all those kids in middle school that cause me so much embarressment and pain.
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